reality check…

Posted: October 29, 2008 in my life
Tags: ,

i just read my previous post and you know what??it just didn’t feel real…it sounded a tad like a snob in a hurry…

.nowhere does it tell you about the sweaty pre-competition tension, the achingly sweet post competition camaraderie and all those altogether silly little things that memories are made of…

where do i begin?….all i remember is that when i had my elocution and debate competitions..i had this weird feeling.. like my chest was too small and compact a place for my heart… like it was too tight…. and funnily enough my stomach decided to go ahead and turn to lead… ooooh heavy, painful feeling. my hands were cold and clammy and whenever i leaned over i had this heady feeling of being about fall.

with all that nervous energy, what else could you expect but for me to mess up. it’s all very well to say that i was nervous…but you know what i haven’t ever felt more like i’m letting down somebody…and terribly enough that that somebody was me….i could’ve cried, but to go ahead and pretend like it was a minor mess up was, believe me, the hardest experience ever…

we learn…

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