Posts Tagged ‘friends’

So, it’s Dec 31st and everybody was making plans at the workplace ( I cannot say this enough times. It’s been 2 months already. A paycheck’s come and gone. And yet. I have a job now…lalalaaaa!). People looked like they were sitting together and discussing their respective work-types stuff, but really, it was just a facade. Everybody was going to do something fun. Something unspeakably wild. And by God they were going to do it tonight. I even saw a bunch of people assemble with military precision and march off toward proposed destination of said fun. Another set zoomed past in shiny helmets and bikes with nether a backward glance.

I assure you dear friends, I had the lamest start to the new year. No big parties.No big bills. Just a small, quiet affair in the room, in the company of close friends and a chocolate cake.I had sev puri and milkshake to celebrate the coming of another year and very tamely went off to sleep before sunrise. The other roomies did have their share of wild fun. But there’s a gag order. And it’s strict.
What we all did have in abundance, though, was resolutions. Ash’s resolution was to not make any. Ap’s was to sleep early. Ys was largely successful in keeping up her resolve, the room still stinks darlingsss. And then there’s mine. It’s secret. It’s almost a wish, so I dont want to say anything and jinx it. Fingers crossed!
Here’s some of the other resolutions I’ve made this year:
* Get pretty.

* Start saving! If all the paychecks go the way this one went, I’ll be a fat, pimply thing with loads of clothes that dont fit.

* Ooooooooh exercise!

* Learn to be more considerate. Anyone that’s been with Pr (roomie!) will tell you that, you can’t be friends with her and not want to learn to be as kind and as considerate as her.
How was your new year’s? Was it as lame as mine? Did you have fun with a vengaence? Resolutions?
Toodles y’all.  Happy New Year!

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Pulsating Fireball

Posted: August 31, 2009 in my life
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“You know, she’s the most brilliant student I have ever taught. She’s  ahead of everyone in the class.” said the 6th grade math teacher.

And it made me burn inside that it wasn’t me but Her. If I beamed at Her after that, then it was only concealed malice. And when She threw her head back and laughed her full bellied, eyes scrunched, teeth bared, red cheeks laughter at one of my jokes it made me glow inside that I’de finally made the smartest person in class laugh at one of my jokes. There, the joy was mine. And it surprised me every time she cracked up that I was the one making her do that. The laughter hers, the joy mine.

And it was in her friendship that I found what it meant to be so jealous it made my insides ache with a molten fury and yet what it meant to have a friend who you could have plain fun with. The balance so tight. Only for me. She probably never guessed that I wanted to get the top grades, that I wanted the prizes and awards and certificates and medals that made her so shiny.

The self realization has come now. I know my basic nature now. I have always been a deeply jealous person..a jealousy directed at anyone that does better than me, so deep it makes me feel I have a pulsating fireball inside. And when not directed outwards, directed inwards releasing a kind of supressed energy that drags me down…guilt for my jealousy.

But those were the early days and I was jealous of not just the smartest person in class, but also the one person who would spend hours with me on the phone, the one person with who I’d share all those books we’d read and all those movies we’d watched, crushing together and then despising together.

Neha is gone now. Dead. I say her name now, out loud, not because there’s no person who’s privacy to protect but because my mind refuses to let go of the only label it has to all those memories I hold of those days. And that her name has now, in my mind, become synonymous with learning and self-realization and… perhaps, self-forgivness?

I still miss you, Neha.

My best friend from 6th grade.

One of those…

Posted: August 24, 2009 in my life, random
Tags: ,

Of the non-prose variety…The class was especially boring.. and we’d just watched an especially touching episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S… what else were we supposed to do…anyway go ahead read it..

One of those

Momma told me I was gonna get one of those;
She told me I was gonna be one of those;
They’re called friends…
She told me I’de walk up the street some day
And not see her but walk straight up to one of those
They’re called friends…

Oh and when I scraped my knee
up the stairs of your place;
And when you bruised your shin
from the cycle at my place;
We both didn’t know, we were bearing marks of our bond…

Oh and our sweaty hands clasping;
our shoeless feet dangling;
The sunlight felt brighter;
those days somehow warmer;
I never knew that all that time we were setting aside a place in our hearts…

See, momma was right.. you were one of those…

Momma told me I was gonna meet one of those;
She told me I’d leave behind some of those;

She told me I’d walk up the street someday
And see them there but walk past anyway;

See, Momma was right…You were one of those…

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man…we felt sooo soppy later, all goose-bumpy and huggy… Tj, Vr, Ys, Vn, Sz, Sh and me…all of us like that..

The band that never will

Posted: May 17, 2009 in my life, random
Tags: ,

So, it started like this. Ar said we’d be great together (“we” as in the gang, don’t look at me like that). Lb did look at me like that. “This is a bad idea” she mouthed in whispery slo-mo when she thought Ar wasn’t looking. “I don’t know a thing about guitars,” she stole a glance toward Ar “those drums might break from your lack of skill and frankly, these clothes are silly…” 

I nodded in agreement, but as was often the case with Ar’s grand ideas, I knew it would pass. She walked around like a monkey on a high and it did my heart good to know that she was going to ditch this plan soon. 

She introduced me to english movies at a time when it was scandalous to even check out the posters at home. She showed me that it really was ok to eat out when there was home-made stuff. She showed me sleeping n going out in the same clothes, brushing teeth after lunch and long calls. She showed me illegal Kazaa and hyper active thinking and talking on the phone in the bathroom.
Ar grew me up a little and now she isn’t even in my life.

strange, non?

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anyway, it’s that time of the year and it always makes me wistful.

Yes, it is that time of the year. The time of the year associated with gigantic books, frantic calls to friends, haywire hormones, stress pimples and a general feeling of being a loser.

If this was fifth grade, it would also be the time of the year for us to write poetry like:

 History is a mystery,

English feels like gibberish…

Ah well. This is not fifth grade. And my textbooks don’t have titles like ‘Lets learn English : The ABCs of the language’.  Sigh…those days…where art thou?

Exams. E x a m s. Exams. Exams.  Exa  I just can’t say it in a way that makes me feel less dreadful about it. 

Wish me luck. KanKan enters the battlefield, alone and unsupported.

It’s really just the weather

Posted: October 30, 2008 in my life
Tags: ,

I don’t what it is about this time of the year but these days i’m nearly always sleepy. I sleep for hours on end ( I mean non-night hours…generally post-lunch) and wake up having a weird gummy taste in the mouth that makes me want to go back to bed. Yes, summer is here and I am on hibernation mode. 

Of course, that should spell doom for my studies after all there’s only so much studying you can get done in, say, 6 hours of “awake” time. Bless me!

Anyways, i haven’t really told anybody about two of the best frinds in my life right now. Let me refer to them as S and Sh. This is college and you know how they say that college memories are very closely associated with the kind of friends you make now. I guess then, if i said my college memories are going to be fully fun and wacky then i won’t be very off the mark if I applied those same adjectives to my friends.

To begin with let’s give S the top to bottom look: Average height, slightly over weight , infectious smile, frizzy hair, typical salwar kameez, infectious laugh. Wacky, crazy friend and my most favorite person in the world right now( i know the grammar’s messed up but you have to understand that). 

before i toddle off, let me remind you that the results of the vtu fest thing are still due…. go ahead, fevicol your fingers to wood right away…

toodle doo