Posts Tagged ‘humour’

I am right now in the middle of a series of exams that have been such a colossal flop, that I’m beginning to wonder if I’m really as intelligent as I like to think I am… (Which I am. Totally. No doubt about it……..no? C’maawwwwnn, I always thought I was).

Exam-eve: Brain goes into study-induced trauma.

Exam-midnight: Symptoms worsen. Brain, now, a neural network of frenzied activity.

Around 2-ish am:

Me: Ahhh well…I give up.

Text Book: Die. Now.

Sooooooo, the exam count, right now, is 3 down 3 to go. And the nightmare ends on New Year’s Eve (Aaaah… so there’s the silver lining…smart).

Toodle doo.

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Yes, it is that time of the year. The time of the year associated with gigantic books, frantic calls to friends, haywire hormones, stress pimples and a general feeling of being a loser.

If this was fifth grade, it would also be the time of the year for us to write poetry like:

 History is a mystery,

English feels like gibberish…

Ah well. This is not fifth grade. And my textbooks don’t have titles like ‘Lets learn English : The ABCs of the language’.  Sigh…those days…where art thou?

Exams. E x a m s. Exams. Exams.  Exa  I just can’t say it in a way that makes me feel less dreadful about it. 

Wish me luck. KanKan enters the battlefield, alone and unsupported.

 

Congratulations!!!!!
Congratulations!!!!!

 

It seems like quite a relief, that after so many long hard months of freaking out over what Sarah Palin’s daughter’s boyfriend said and how many houses Barrack Obama went trick-or-treating with his daughter this Halloween, we finally have America’s Next President…tadaa! Congratulations Obama!

Now, the whole thing made me wonder what I would say at my acceptance speech… you know, if I ever actually got a green card…and then, suddenly developed strong red or blue tendencies… and then, got nominated or whatever…and then won… you know, should be easy to imagine…Well, if all that happened, here is the list of people I would thank and acknowledge:

My Acceptance Speech

Hello America!! (Big Booming Voice)

First of all, I would like to thank this great country with deep gratitude and a total feeling of humbleness. This humbleness, that has settled itself so deep, deep inside, so fully, that we talk, sometimes, me and Humbleness, on issues like why it’s important to mention his name at an event like today’s. We really share a special something, me and him.

I would also like to thank all of you, without whose support and pocket money, none of this would have happened.

Thanks are also due to Mr. Other-Nominee for being so helpful. I really remember that last time you were being helpful, when you accidentally let out that once upon a time you were a hippie who used to party wildly in India with no clothes on. Thank you. Those pictures in the papers really made my day.

And my family… oh, my sweet family… Mom, Dad and Rum… for deciding to not abandon me after all, despite me being a really ugly baby. And also to my teacher from middle school, for saving me from school-exiledom by not telling anybody that I would secretly dig my nose as an extra-curricular activity.

I would also like to thank a really special somebody who embarked with me on this long, long journey and who supported me through all those dark and lonely days along the way. Somebody who always loved me even on my bad hair days. Somebody who supported me through some of my worst mood swings and encouraged me to look at the positive side of grainy pictures of a hippie partying in India with no clothes on. Thanks to my best friend of 6 yrs 2 months and 4 days…the love of my life…America’s next First Dog…Mr. Muffin Cake. I will always love you. Promise.

(Mr. Muffin Cake’s eyes glisten with unshed tears.)

Today by making this choice millions of Americans have made the decision to bring change… change that we believe in… change that we sorely need, as the long lines of people fumbling for it, in their little bags and pockets, at countless department stores across America will stand testimony to. (Loud Drum roll. Applause)

Thank you. God Bless America. God bless you all… and most importantly, God bless me.

(Standing Ovation. Mr. Muffin Cake cries.)