Posts Tagged ‘nervous’

I am right now in the middle of a series of exams that have been such a colossal flop, that I’m beginning to wonder if I’m really as intelligent as I like to think I am… (Which I am. Totally. No doubt about it……..no? C’maawwwwnn, I always thought I was).

Exam-eve: Brain goes into study-induced trauma.

Exam-midnight: Symptoms worsen. Brain, now, a neural network of frenzied activity.

Around 2-ish am:

Me: Ahhh well…I give up.

Text Book: Die. Now.

Sooooooo, the exam count, right now, is 3 down 3 to go. And the nightmare ends on New Year’s Eve (Aaaah… so there’s the silver lining…smart).

Toodle doo.

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Yes, it is that time of the year. The time of the year associated with gigantic books, frantic calls to friends, haywire hormones, stress pimples and a general feeling of being a loser.

If this was fifth grade, it would also be the time of the year for us to write poetry like:

 History is a mystery,

English feels like gibberish…

Ah well. This is not fifth grade. And my textbooks don’t have titles like ‘Lets learn English : The ABCs of the language’.  Sigh…those days…where art thou?

Exams. E x a m s. Exams. Exams.  Exa  I just can’t say it in a way that makes me feel less dreadful about it. 

Wish me luck. KanKan enters the battlefield, alone and unsupported.

reality check…

Posted: October 29, 2008 in my life
Tags: ,

i just read my previous post and you know what??it just didn’t feel real…it sounded a tad like a snob in a hurry…

.nowhere does it tell you about the sweaty pre-competition tension, the achingly sweet post competition camaraderie and all those altogether silly little things that memories are made of…

where do i begin?….all i remember is that when i had my elocution and debate competitions..i had this weird feeling.. like my chest was too small and compact a place for my heart… like it was too tight…. and funnily enough my stomach decided to go ahead and turn to lead… ooooh heavy, painful feeling. my hands were cold and clammy and whenever i leaned over i had this heady feeling of being about fall.

with all that nervous energy, what else could you expect but for me to mess up. it’s all very well to say that i was nervous…but you know what i haven’t ever felt more like i’m letting down somebody…and terribly enough that that somebody was me….i could’ve cried, but to go ahead and pretend like it was a minor mess up was, believe me, the hardest experience ever…

we learn…